The Bachelor – Hometown Hunnies

We’ve finally restored some order in The Bachelor universe, we finally have an episode that more or less follows the typical narrative, except for the extra one-on-one and rose ceremony in the beginning. This made for shorter hometown dates, which I appreciate, because we all know those tend to get a little boring. I need girl fights to fully enjoy a show!!

same

same

Continued…AGAIN

After Sunday night’s episode left us just after Britt’s blow up at Chris, we picked up with Becca leaving for her second one-on-one in two weeks. Which is kind of garbage for the other girls, but like, whatever. They hung out in ‘Chris’s’ loft before watching the sunset together. BORING.

While this is happening, Britt tells the other girls that she’s packed her bags and she is leaving. She’s conveniently going to drop this bomb during the cocktail party. The other girls don’t believe it because she’s been known to change her mind again and again. Chris Harrison informs the girls that there will be no cocktail party and they move straight to the ceremony.

Act Break

At the rose ceremony, Britt interrupts the proceedings to talk to Chris. He knows where this is going, She’s going to try to end it before he has the chance. He knew he wasn’t going to give her the rose, and that this was an attempt for Britt to come out on top. She kept interrupting him, and eventually he told her that she was out. Bye Britt. To no one’s surprise, Carly followed soon after.

Another Attempt at Beating Around the Bush

Chris headed down to Shreveport, Louisiana to meet with Becca’s family on her birthday, a detail not revealed in the show. They hang out in an alligator park for a bit before heading to her parents house. Chris meets the fam, and sits down to have a chat with Becca’s sister. She informs him that Becca doesn’t ‘get intimate with people’ and ‘never brings guys home’, well that’s no pressure at all. She does a better job at trying to disclose Becca’s adult virginity to Chris than Ashley did, but it’s unclear whether or not he got the message. After the visit, Chris

'Is that Jade in that Playboy'

‘Is that Jade in that Playboy’

surprises Becca with a trip to the state fair. We already know girlfriend is moving on to the Fantasy Suite dates because GD Chris Harrison spoiled in the effing premiere.

Baby Makin’

On the next hometown date, Chris heads up to Chicago to see Whitney. She takes him to her place of work, a fertility clinic. She plays a practical joke on him, saying that they’re going to test his, um, ‘swimmers’. Obvi she’s kidding, because that would be insane if not. Whitney told Chris on their last date that she doesn’t have parents, so her sister will be the real judge and jury. The sister has some reservations because he’s still dating 3 other women. Fair.

If you're reading this it's too late

If you’re reading this it’s too late

Farmers Can’t Rap

In the next date, we get real gypped when Kaitlyn’s hometown visit is in Arizona instead of my beloved Canada. Anyway, she takes him to a recording studio where they record a rap, using many takes. Then they head to her parents’ house where they eat dinner around the most ballin’ table everrrrrr. Kaitlyn then leads Chris to a sign that says ‘Kaitlyn Hearts Chris’. She wasn’t ready to say I love you, but wanted to let Chris know she’s on that track. This continues to be the most surprising relationship to me, because Kaitlyn is too fun for Chris.

Fun date activity - looking at your playboy spread with a guy who has 3 other girlfriends

Fun date activity – looking at your playboy spread with a guy who has 3 other girlfriends

The Big Reveal

The last hometown date was with Jade in rural Nebraska. Chris thought this felt more like home, and that Jade would have an easy time adjusting to life in Iowa. Her family said otherwise. Her family said that she’s a ‘wild mustang’ and that she had been working hard in her career as a model in Caliornia. Let’s talk about that modelling career while we’re at it. Jade has been struggling with trying to tell Chris about her past as a Playboy model. She’s been judged in the past about it, and doesn’t want it to happen again. She tells Chris, and he’s pretty surprised. Then she shows Chris the photos and he’s reeeally surprised, but says it doesn’t affect their relationship.

Finally, a Rose Ceremony

For the first time in weeks, we are actually finishing out an episode with a rose ceremony. Whitney gets a rose, then Kaitlyn, and based on Chris Harrison’s spoiler, we know who’s headed home. He says goodbye to Jade, and promises it has nothing to do with the photos, and just that this relationship wasn’t progressing like the others.

Next week, FANTASY SUITES. Until then, follow me on twitter and check out this week’s podcast.

 

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