The Bachelor – Save a Horse, Ride a Farmguy

What an episode. Finally, we had 2 solid hours of The Bachelor that didn’t bore me to the snack cupboard. We had some drama, helicopters, ‘celebrities’, and leaving two women alone in one of the most deserted places in America to fend for themselves.

'whatever you do, don't take away my short-sleeved blazers!'

‘whatever you do, don’t take away my short-sleeved blazers!’

Finally Continued

After last week’s cliffhanger, we finally got the resolution that we were looking for. Kelsey was able to recover from her episode rather quickly with the help of Chris and a few laughs. This lead the other women to doubt her intentions and sanity even more than before. Kelsey did however receive a rose, much to the chagrin of the remaining girls. Unsurprisingly, Mackenzie and some girl named ‘Samantha’ were sent home.

Dead Wood

The women and Chris pack up once again to head to another desolate part of the USA, this time, Deadwood, South Dakota! How fun and rural! The first one-on-one date goes to Becca. She is cool because she doesn’t feel the need to endlessly talk about her virginity. We’ve seen little of Becca thus far, probably because she is too normal for this show. It makes her bad tv, but great for Chris. They finally share their first kiss, after Chris has kissed literally everyone else who walked into the house, and Becca gets a rose.

'So I heard you were in Playboy'

‘So I heard you were in Playboy’

Big and Not Rich Enough

The group date this week had the women writing songs to express their feelings for Chris, with the help of country one-hit-wonders, Big and Rich. Jade was uncomfy with the idea of singing in front of people, but either Big or Rich helped her through that. Her elation didn’t last long, as Chris kissed Britt in front of everyone. I just don’t think Chris understands that his actions can hurt people, I just don’t think all of his years on the farm have honed his social skills enough.

After alone time with each of the girls, he took Britt aside, and they ran away. No, like, they literally ran. They headed down to a Big and Rich show, where they daaanced, and they laaaughed, and they kissssed, and Britt got the rose. All while the other women sat around, wondering what happened to them. This was just really, seriously so rude and inconsiderate towards the other women. I know that it was the producers who made this move, and not Chris, but I think this is case and point for my earlier statement about social skills. The girls were livid too. I thought they all handled it really well by not lashing out on Britt.

This does not look good for Ashley

This does not look good for Ashley

This was Bad(lands)

Finally, we got what we’ve been waiting patiently for for seasons now. A 2-ON-1 DATE YAYYYYYY. I can’t even describe how much I love these bad boys, and this one was sure to be a doozy. Both of our ‘favourite’ ladies were heading out on a helicopter to the Badlands so they can awkwardly sit on a random bed in the middle of nowhere while Chris spent time with the other woman. Ashley and Kelsey both let us know all the way throughout the episode that they would be the girl standing there at the end of the date.

Reasons why I love Carly 1-46

Reasons why I love Carly 1-46

In her time with Chris, Ashley broke the cardinal rule of NEVER TALKING ABOUT OTHER WOMEN DURING YOUR ALONE TIME. She told Chris that Kelsey was just like, not cool, okay? He then spoke to Kelsey and dropped the bomb that Ashley told him that everyone hates her and she was hurt. As if robots have feelings. Kelsey then murdered Ashley with her eyes and said ‘I know what you did’, like any other scorned horror movie antagonist would say. Ashley was pissssssed and confronted Chris. He decided that was the right time to break it off with Ashley, because she wouldn’t be happy in Arlington. Um, would anyone? Kelsey then tried to comfort Chris, but he was like ‘yeah, you’re going too’. He then hopped into his now personal helicopter flew off, while leaving the women alone to roam the midwest. What a gentleman. We the audience were left, again, without a rose ceremony. How rude.

Next week – so many GD hours of this BS. Until then, follow me on twitter and check out the MULTIPLE podcasts this week. First, the recap, then the seasonal podcast with Survivor’s Randy Bailey.


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