The Bachelor – Finally a Funny Guy

week 3 - 1This was the most vibrant episode of the Bachelor in a very long time thanks to the presence of superfan, Jimmy Kimmel.

Welcome, Jimmy

I would be seriously fine if Jimmy took over for Chris Harrison full-time. Wait, is Jimmy single? Can he take over for Chris Soules too? Anyway, Jimmy Kimmel was introduced to the girls after surprising Chris in his bedroom. He then introduced the ‘Amazing’ jar to the women, they had to put in a dollar every time they said ‘amazing’. It was then revealed that Jimmy would have a hand in planning the dates this week, which should make for a very fun couple of days for the women.

Economy-Sized Love

The first one-on-one date of the episode went to my girl, Kaitlyn. Chris picked her up in the limo, and even he had no idea what exclusive club they were heading to. They rolled up to their final destination, only to find themselves at the mecca for families with 6 or more kids, Costco. Although it was not the fanciest of dates, they still managed to have a great time rolling around in the aisles. No, they were literally rolling around in an orb ball. Do they not have regard for the families?!!? Later, they were joined for dinner by jimmy where his proposition for a threesome was turned down. I think Chris and Kaitlyn have really great natural chemistry and I think she will go far.

week 3 - 2Down on the Farm

The group date was given to a bunch of girls, so I’m not going to list them all here, because you don’t know their names anyway. The date involved some sort of farm-themed obstacle course. The women had to crack eggs, milk goats, and wrestle pigs. Carly won the competition, and the censor box covering Jillian’s behind won the most screen time this evening. Carly’s prize was to recreate the ‘American Gothic’ painting. As if these women know classic art. Chris spent the evening macking on all his ladies, which I’m actually totally cool with. Mackenzie, however, was not. She confronted Chris in the most immature way possible, because she is 12. I think Becca got the rose on this date, mostly because she refused to kiss him because she didn’t want mouth herpes.

The Less Fun Wedding Crashers

Whitney was chosen for the second one-on-one this week. Her and Chris had some awkward conversations before deciding to ‘spontaneously’ crash a wedding. They went home, got changed real quick, and decided on a story that they were engaged. Whitney loves weddings because they are like, sooo romantic. Um obviously, that’s the GD point. They then attended the wedding, where producers recording the evening on their ‘iphones’. I don’t buy it.

POOL PARTYYY

This week the Chris’ decided to forgo the cocktail party in favour of a pool party. Ashley I was not impressed because it’s hard to kardashian it up in the water. Juelia decided it was time to tell Chris her backstory, in probably the least appropriate outfit to regale a story about your hardships. I don’t want to mock her too much, because her story was legitimately so incredibly sad, and I truly hope she has been able to find peace. Back to the mockery, and I’m setting my sights on Jade. Jade wanted to see Chris’ digs and they used the opportunity to make out on his bed. Jillian was waiting outside for her shared beau in the shared hot tub. Ashley I, Mackenzie, and Megan decided to crash that party. Ashley I was upset that Jillian wouldn’t leave. She made up for it later when she tried to push Chris off the roof while making out with him.

Rose Ceremony

This week we said adios to people like Trina, who I forgot was even on the show, Amber, and Tracy. Ashley I was pissed at Chris because he gave her her rose last. Ugh, suck it up Ash.

For more coverage of the Bachelor, follow me on twitter and check out this week’s podcast with special guest, Survivor’s Kelley Wentworth!

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