The Bachelor Canada – Two for One

'I can't decide which April sucks more'

‘I can’t decide which April sucks more’

I sound like a broken record, sorry for being (extra) delayed writing these posts, but the Bachelor Canada is just soooooooo uninspiring. It’s giving me very little to work with.

In the first episode of this recap, the girls and not Brad Tim head to Cabo, the home of many resorts and the dying place of the virginities of 50% of the cast of Laguna Beach. Probably. Supposedly this is a romantic locale, at least that’s what Four Weddings keeps trying to tell me. I sure as hell do not believe. Stop skimping TLC! Send those brides somewhere other than Mexico! I digress.

The first date this week goes to Lisa, the woman production is telling us not to like. They go sky-diving because they love adventure. It’s a metaphor for their relationship. Moving on. Next comes a group date, featuring Martha, Jenny, an April or 2, and my favourite Sachelle. They dance and stuff, Tim picks Sachelle to go on the dinner portion of the date. They discuss their past relationships. I really like Sachelle, she is cool and really down-to-earth and totally gorgeous, which is basically the holy grail of reality TV potential dates.

There was supposed to be another group date, but Tim cancelled it in favour of hanging out with everyone. He tells the girls that 4 will be going home instead of 2. DRAMAAAAAAAA. One of the Aprils cries about something. As does Kaylynn, but at the rose ceremony, it’s the burlesque April, Martha, Jenny, and Christine.

'I can't wait to leave one of you alone on the beach to wallow in our break up!'

‘I can’t wait to leave one of you alone on the beach to wallow in our break up!’

In the next episode, the gang makes their way to the Bahamas. I’m not going to lie to you, I missed the first half of the episode because I literally forgot it was on. That’s how boring this is. My excuse is that I was doing homework. Apparently, in those vital 30 minutes I missed, Tim sent a girl home. Or she left. I don’t know. Something happened. I should go back and watch the first part of this episode. TOO LATE NOW, Y’ALL.

I tuned in just in time for the beloved 2-on-1 date. Well, I love to watch it. It would be hella awkward to live out IRL. Rileigh and Trish were selected for this date. They hung out on the beach. The girls had an arms race to tell Tim the most secrets about themselves. In the end, Trish won out by telling Tim about her failed engagement. They frolicked off into the sunset.

On the group date, the remaining girls and Tim hung out in a cabana and took turns making out with him. At the rose ceremony, it came down to Kaylynn and some other girl. Maybe her name is Shelby? I don’t know. Tim showed his rebellious side and decided not to send anyone home at the rose ceremony. From now on, the show is moving from Thursdays to Tuesday, so be prepared for that.

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