VMA-holes – a ‘Definitive’ Ranking of the VMA Performances

Okay, so this year’s VMA performances didn’t have the ‘wow’ factor, or more like the ‘eek’ factor that last year’s did, I still think it was a pretty solid show with some of the best collection of performances in years, even if one of them was i
ntroduced by a Kardashian. Here are my definitely definitive ranking of the performances, and obviously my list is 100% correct.


8. 5 Seconds of Summer – Amnesia

A. the band name is factually incorrect. There are way more than 5 seconds of summer. Come one, everyone knows that. I bet 13-y-o me would have loved this band, but today? Not so much. They fall to the bottom of my list because I feel like I’ve seen and heard this song, performed by other people with other lyrics. WHERE IS 1 DIRECTION??

7. Usher ft Nicki Minaj – She Came to Give it to You

It may be a by-product of me not really paying attention to this performance, but I didn’t find it particularly memorable. Yes, Usher has a great voice. Yes, Usher is a great dancer. I just don’t think he has that spark he used to, and this song was no ‘Yeah’.

6. Iggy Azalea ft Rita Ora – Black Widow

I actually really liked this song. I’m probably going to download it at some point. The costumes were fabulous, but I just think there were better performances.

5. Maroon 5 – Maps

I really like this song, and Adam Levine’s face (face it, who doesn’t). It was a cool performance, but I dock points from them for not even being at the show!!

4. Sam Smith – Stay With Me

This song is my obsession and is now at the top of my ‘most played’ playlist on iTunes. He was great, vocally, and his performance was simple and beautiful, no frills needed. But this IS a performance show, and I like a little theatrics.

3. Ariana Grande, Nicki Minaj, & Jessie J – Break Free/Anaconda/Bang Bang

shockingly, this is the most clothed she'll be all evening

shockingly, this is the most clothed she’ll be all evening

Damn. Seriously. These women were smoking hot. All of them. I’ve never heard Ariana’s song before, but that girl is so GD talented, she’s made a fan out of me this summer. I don’t really love the song ‘Anaconda’ but Nicki’s performance was pretty fantastic. I do, however, love ‘Bang Bang’. All of these women are amazing vocalists, and Nicki was able to hold it together even when her outfit didn’t.

2. Taylor Swift – Shake it Off


I doubt many will agree with me, but I loved this performance. I know, I know, my Swift bias is showing, but I can’t help it! The song is fun and catchy. I loved Taylor’s outfit, and I thought she was great during it. Realistically, this performance deserves to be switched with the one at #3, but this my blog and I do what I want around these parts.

1. Beyonce – Album Medley

that gaze, y'all

that gaze, y’all

There was no competition. Twitter came together to gush about this performance, and the praise is wholly deserved. Her outfit was as flawless as her dance moves and vocals. It brought you through a range of emotions, and had a perfect ending. Kudos to you, Bey.

'I'm crying because we're better than everyone'

‘I’m crying because we’re better than everyone’



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s