The Bachelorette – I Domincan’t Handle Homemade Fairytales

We’re in the homestretch. Just one episode now stands between us and finding out which of the remaining douchebags Andi chooses as her fiancé for the next 8 months.

'I'm pretending to think this is cute, when really I'm just really embarrassed for you'

‘I’m pretending to think this is cute, when really I’m just really embarrassed for you’

We spend like, a solid 25 minutes of our lives listening to Andi blather on about the pros and cons of each guy, because they have 2 hours to fill, you guys. The first date goes to Nick, whom I actually like quite a lot still. Andi picks him up in her helicopter and they head out to a private island. This date is boring, because, shockingly, there isn’t a ton to do on an island by yourself except to make out. Which they did. A lot. They then went for dinner, where Nick presented Andi with a fairytale book which he wrote himself, and I had to make a serious effort to keep my snack down.

Come, on Nick, you know I adore you, but I can’t take you seriously when you pull stuff like that. Nick has been struggling with telling Andi that he loves her for weeks now, and he thought that it was now or never. He found the nearest tree, clearly where he’s most comfortable, and told Andi that he loved her. Obviously they headed straight to that fantasy suite date.

'hopefully you won't squander your second-round draft pick status like I did!'

‘hopefully you won’t squander your second-round draft pick status like I did!’

The next date was with Josh, The ‘wander around the town/cultural’ dates are always my favourite. Andi brought Josh to a field where a bunch of kids were playing baseball. Josh was honoured that Andi listened to him, and she knew that he loves baseball. For the love of god, josh. We all know that. I have to say it was kind of cute.

Andi is still unsure of what to do about Josh. She really likes him, but he reminds her of her past relationships. They talk over dinner about what kind of parents they will be. Regardless of her reservations, she offers Josh the key to the fantasy suite and he accepts.

your next bachelor, probably

your next bachelor, probably

Andi meets up with Chris for their date where they ride horses and talk about Iowa for like, a billion years. You can tell right off the bat that this date is not going to end well. Partially because a part of the date was literally spent hiding from each other. This all came to light when at dinner Andi started crying and told Chris that she hated herself for not liking him more. Essentially. He then took on the role of comforting her and told her she’s not a terrible person, which was kind of him. He didn’t even cry in the limo which makes me think he wasn’t one hundo percent into her.

There is still a rose ceremony, because this is a two-way street, y’all. Obviously both guys accepted the roses and will move on to the finale and meet Andi’s family. Next week –MEN TELL ALL. Follow me on twitter and check out this week’s podcast!

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