The Bachelorette; Pardonnez-moi?

We’re in France y’alllll. The Bachelorette returns to us after a very lame recap episode last week to one of my favourite countries, promising us beaucoup de drama. Zut alors!!

The episode opens with Chris Harrison in a ridiculous turtleneck asking Andi if she’s falling for one (or more!) of the guys. There is actually quite a lot of talent this season, so I understand when she says she has feelings for more than one.

Thanks for the fantasy points, you guys!

Thanks for the fantasy points, you guys!

The first 1-on-1 date goes to one of Andi’s favourites, Josh. She wonders if they have a connection that goes beyond the strong physical one they already have. He drops about 439 times that he used to be an athlete, but gave it all up so he could have a family. Ummmm, no hun, you got released while in high-A due to an abysmal batting average. Anyway, Andi likes this side of Josh, but is still a little skeptical of him, but gives him a rose. They then go to a private concert that Josh is SHOCKED to see because he has apparently never seen an episode of this GD show.

'help! I'm stuck in a one-sided relationship and I can't get out!'

‘help! I’m stuck in a one-sided relationship and I can’t get out!’

The group date finally answers all of our prayers and gets the guys to be quiet for like 20 minutes. The guys dress up as mimes, and Andi wears my favourite outfit of the season thus far. They then gallivant into the streets of Marseilles, and terrify the locals. Some guys, like Marquel, are having a grand ole time, where others, like Nick, are clearly not enjoying themselves. Nick says it’s unnatural to be on a date with 7 other guys, especially when he feels he has the strongest connection with Andi.

There was a lot of drama during the party portion of this date. Some of the battles include Andrew vs Marquel, Nick vs Everyone, and Cody vs crewneck t-shirts. JJ swears he heard Andrew make a not-so-politically correct comment after Ron got a rose during the first night, and Marquel is pretty hurt to hear this. He makes a very interesting and compelling statement regarding race, and it makes one think of the allegations against the Bachelor franchise about that very issue.  Andrew denies he said anything. On to the next battle.

'staaahp the drama, y'all'

‘staaahp the drama, y’all’

Cody says that Nick said mean things to him and acts above everyone else. Andi draws this info out of both Chris and Cody. She confronts Nick about this, and he admits he said some things that may not have been so kind, but he thought it was just part of him and Cody teasing each other. Andi wonders if she is being manipulated by Nick. I think we were supposed to feel like Nick was the villain here, but it didn’t make me dislike him. What did make me dislike him was the poetry. Instant boner killer.

The second 1-on-1 goes to Brian, who I still always want to call Dylan, but I like him nonetheless. Before they leave, we see some foreshadowing that Dylan miiiight not get a rose at the end of the date. They go see a movie about cooking that I’m actually super interested in seeing, so if anyone feels the same, hit me up. They then peruse a French market before heading back to Andi’s apartment to whip up some delicacies francais. Brian’s demeanor during this part of the date was not such a delicacy. He was hella awkward and Andi wasn’t sure what had happened. While eating their ‘meal’, they decided that it was terrible and to just go out for dinner, where Brian started to open up way more.  He says he is sorry for the way he acted, and that he regrets not kissing her every moment during the date, so they find a random kitchen to make out in, and he gets a rose.

'buh-bye basic bitches! see ya when I'm the bachelor!!'

‘buh-bye basic bitches! see ya when I’m the bachelor!!’

Andi decides that she doesn’t want to have a cocktail party this week because she already knows who is going home, and a five minute conversation isn’t going to change that. Fair enough. She sends home lovers, Andrew and Patrick, as well as fan favourite. I do not believe we have seen the last of these three guys on the bachelor franchise. I could see the former two making an appearance on Bachelor in Paradise, and if Bachelor Nation gets their way, Marquel could be our new bachelor.

Next week; tears in Venice! Follow me on twitter and check out this week’s podcast, as well as last week’s special recap with Randy Bailey. A bientot mes petits chous!!!

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