The Bachelorette – Robot Strippers

'So, tell me how you broke it off with Ariel'

‘So, tell me how you broke it off with Ariel’

After a round of introductions last week, we finally get to the dating portion of the show. The men talk about how excited they are to finally begin the process, and how lucky they are that Andi is their bachelorette. Chris Harrison arrives at the mansion to delegate the first date card. The first one-on-one date goes to Disney Prince Eric. Not the one from the Little Mermaid, but you know what, he very well could be.

Andi picks him up in her convertible and hopes he is up for an adventure. As Eric’s job title is ‘explorer’ I think we all know he will be. They start of their date at the beach where they frolic around, build sandcastles, and try to avoid getting sand in their sandwiches which is no easy feat. We are then treated to our first helicopter ride of the season, which takes them to Bear Mountain. Eric and Andi are then treated to some snowboard lessons, complimentary of production. I cannot confirm or deny that it is last episode’s reject, Steven, giving these lessons. Eric is flawless, obviously, while Andi stumbles around on her snowboard. Happens to the best of us, girlfriend. They then head to a beautiful lodge, where they have dinner, AND ACTUALLY EAT IT. Eric tells Andi, and us, about his travels and his project to visit every country. We get an extended segment of his speaking, which is really and truly heartbreaking knowing how his story ends. After a fantastic date, it is no surprise that Eric gets a rose.

Straight from all of your sexiest nightmares

Straight from all of your sexiest nightmares

Next up is the group date. With this many guys left, it’s hard to tell you who got to go on the date, so I will fill you in on who was left behind; Chris, JJ, Nick V, and Andrew. The date cards said that they should be prepared to bare their souls, and they should know they’re going to be baring some other things as well. They are informed they will stripping for charity. They are placed into groups of firemen, cowboys, and soldiers, as well as there were two solo acts performed by Marcus as a Top Gun person thing, and Nick S as a robot. Andi was joined by two of our favourites, Sharleen and Kelly, in order to judge the men. They were impressed by some of the suitors’ moves. It was clear that this wasn’t the first go at the world of male stripping for many of these guys. Craig was very impressed by Josh’s skills, and had to find a way to cope with it later in the date.

Which brings us to that part in the date. The group visits another mansion somewhere in the greater LA area for some drinks and some good times. The guys vie for time with Andi, while Craig vies for time with some with different alcoholic beverages. He is pretty wasted, and Andi is not impressed. Production takes him home, and Andi is visibly upset about the whole situation. Marcus takes her for a little one-on-one time, where he talks her off the edge, and ends up getting the group date rose.

Does it kind of look like she's about to bowl?

Does it kind of look like she’s about to bowl?

The last date card arrives at the mansion, and it has Chris’ name on it. He gets ready to go and meets Andi at the horse track. Side note, she looks STUNNING. I love love love that dress. Chris came horribly underdressed, but ees okay! They have clothes for him! He picks out a great grey suit, and they go bet some of production’s money. They ‘bump’ into an elderly couple who asks them how long they’ve been together. Chris then asks the secret to their long-lasting love. They divulge that ‘you’ll just know’. Some real ground-breaking stuff. They then head to their own private concert with some band that no one has ever heard of. Chris gets both the rose and the first kiss of the season.

'Guess robots aren't her type'

‘Guess robots aren’t her type’

During the cocktail party, it is clear that the guys want to make a good impression with Andi before the rose ceremony. There is a montage of cute, and sometimes odd, ploys to impress Andi. We see Brett perform a sock puppet play, someone breaking a plate, and my personal favourite, Nick V making his own date card to get some alone time with Andi. We also see a conversation with Josh where he is visibly nervous speaking with Andi and she gets a kick out of it. Then Craig takes a moment with Andi to apologize for his behaviour on the group date, and then sings a very off-key song of apology. It was not enough for Andi as Craig, along with the hot firefighter Carl and golf pro Nick S, were sent packing.

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