The Bachelor; The Girls are Back in Town

bach2It’s the night we’ve all been waiting for, the Women Tell All! After a season of dramatics, and a post-season of controversy that has mostly been directed at our Bachelor, Juan Pablo, it should be a good time. For us, anyway.  Chris Harrison re-introduces us to the girls, which is necessary, because we forgot who half of these women are. Then try and figure out who isn’t there, but can’t because all the girls look the same on the first night.

The first segment of this episode is dedicated to checking back in with newlyweds, Catherine and Sean. Chris Harrison asks them how the wedding night was. None of us heard the answer, because we were all covering our ears yelling ‘NO, NO’, because we have already heard far too much, unsolicited talk about their sex life on their wedding show. Sean tells us an anecdote about how his junk was fondled by sea life, and Chris comments on Catherine’s new bangs. The hairstyle, not her Husband. Moving on.

After a semi-awkward promo for the new Muppets movie, we finally get to hear from the women. The first discussion topic is how some of the girls were jilted after being treated unfairly. Cassandra and Renee were always referred to as JP’s ‘special ones’. Kat was not impressed. She wants to be special too guys! The girls wouldn’t have minded so much if JP hadn’t of repeatedly said he was treating everyone fairly. Cassandra was upset that JP would kiss her, but wanted to respect Renee and her son, and held off on kissing her for a long time. Kat, who looked fabulous by the way, didn’t appreciate him pulling out the kid card so often, and Chris Harrison jumped to his defense. Kelly retorted with ‘He didn’t say Camilla in the ocean’. Get it girl.

The women were shocked about the whole ocean situation, not even her roommates realized she had gone. They respected Clare for going out and getting what she wanted. The girls did not have the same respect for Juan Pablo. They thought it was wrong to place the blame on her when ‘swimming’ takes two people.

The girls were also not impressed with how little interest Juan Pablo showed in them throughout the entire process. Cassandra stated that he should have been asking little questions to get to know them better, like what is their favourite colour, what they want out of life, and most importantly, what is their favourite kind of pizza. Sharleen disagrees; he was always very interested in her, her past, and her stories. GUESS WE ALL KNOW WHO JP’S FAV WAS. To be fair, she was also my fav too.

While we are on the subject of Sharleen, she was the first to sit in the hot seat and talk to Chris. Girl was FLAWLESS. Those eyebrows were spectacular (Renee should get a few tips from her). She didn’t realize how much Juan Pablo favoured her until she saw the show. She was sad to leave, but she knew she made the right choice. She said they were missing the cerebral connection, aka he is dumb as hell.

The girls duke it out a little bit more. Lauren doesn’t think Juan Pablo was genuine about the process, and just wanted to hook-up. Everyone’s favourite, Kelly, calls her out saying she’s just sour that JP rejected her. Another Lauren speaks. No one knows where she came from.

Next Chris speaks with Renee. Renee girl, I like you a lot, and you are so so so pretty, but please step away from the eyebrow pencil next time, okay? Chris asks her about her feelings for Juan Pablo, and if she wishes that she did something different. She says no, her feelings for JP were real, but just because those feelings were there for her, doesn’t mean Juan Pablo reciprocated. It’s okay though, she has a new man in her life now. Things are going swimmingly, and that takes her out of the running to be the next Bachelorette.

We move on to the next front-runner to be the new Bachelorette, Andi. Chris dives right into talking about what really did happen in that fantasy suite. Andi says she just felt disrespected by Juan Pablo under the guise of ‘honesty’. He was self-centred and arrogant, and Andi knew they just wouldn’t be able to make it work.

Juan Pablo then comes out to finally face 25 of his ex-girlfriends. The girls absolutely lay into him, and he is unapologetic. HE’S JUST HONEST, EES OKAY GUYS. First thing that is brought up is ‘fairness’. He said he just saw Renee and Cassandra differently because they left their kids to partake in the process. Someone jumped in saying they had to leave things too! JP proved this by sending Cassandra home as soon as he knew she wasn’t the one. Juan Pablo defended that he was indeed there for the right reasons, and he was looking for true love. Kelly then asked about his comments regarding gay people. He blamed it on the language barrier (again) and Victoria called BS, English isn’t her first language either. He insists he is not homophobic, and he has friends who are gay.

Because shizz is getting intense, they run the blooper reel. Unsurprisingly, THE kiss was featured, and hopefully we will never have to see it again. Other great moments included some dancing, molly the dog living the dream at the bachelor house, and Renee getting hit in the head with a piece of equipment. We are coming to the end of the Women Tell All special, and all there is left is the preview for next week. Both Nikki and Clare are unsure whether or not Juan Pablo is even going to propose to either one of them. Even his family is unsure. There is lots of crying involved, so it should be fun.

The season is wrapping up next week, and I am excited to have Mondays free again.

BACHELOR

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