The Bachelor; Hobbit-hunting

JP nzAfter a rough week, the girls and Juan Pabs make the long trek down to New Zealand. Seriously, I will go on this show for the free trips. Please. Take me. They head to a beautiful resort on Lake Tuapo, and I am beyond jealous.

The date cards comes and Andi is hoping to finally have her chance at a one-on-one date with Juan Pablo. Her dreams come true! She meets up with JP and they get on a speed boat and gallivant through the lake. The kind Kiwi boat driver drops them off at a bank of rocks and says `seeee yaaaah’. They change into their bathing suits, and Andi wears something we rarely see on this show, a very stylish one-piece. They wade into the cold water, and through some rocks. JP and Andi squeeze through some caves, which makes any claustrophobic absolutely shudder. It could not have been easy for production to maneuver their equipment through these rocks, so props to them.

They finally reach a beautiful waterfall, and proceed to make out underneath of it. I would really like for Juan Pablo to lay out his rules for water make outs. Waterfalls, pools, and hot tubs seem to be okay, but oceans are a big no-no? I’m confused JP, help me out.  They leave this majestic waterfall, and head for dinner. They eat in front of a geyser. Cue the innuendos. Andi is not impressed that this natural wonder of the world is ruining her meal. How rude of it. As if they were going to eat of it anyway. JP makes out with her to make up for the dinner, and Andi gets the rose.

Both Cassandra and Clare are hoping to get the second one-on-one date. Cassandra wants to cement her connection with the man who could be ‘the one’, and Clare really wants to clear up the disagreement between them in Vietnam. Clare gets the one-on-one, and Cassandra is disappointed because she wants more time with Juan Pablo. He is the first guy in suuuuuuch a long time that she can see a future with. Let’s all keep in mind that she is TWENTY-ONE, OKAY. But not for much longer, the group date is on her 22nd birthday!! How fun!!!

Juan Pablo and the girls get in their bathing suits, and for the second time this week, we see ANOTHER classy one-piece. Thanks Sharleen! They hop into some ogos and roll down a hill. This actually looks like SO much fun. After that, they head down to Hobbiton. A lot of people were worried that they would go to New Zealand without making any LOTRs reference, but worry no more. Sharleen adorably nerds out, cementing her place as my favourite and makes me wonder what the F she is doing on a show like the Bachelor.

Cassandra gets to blow out a candle for her birthday, and wonders when she will get her alone time with Juan Pablo. Well, here her time comes! JP takes her outside, and says that he really adores her, but just knows that she isn’t the one, and doesn’t want her to spend any more time away from her kid. See ya Cassandra, happy birthday! Hopefully they’re playing Lord of the Rings on the plane ride home!

After they got over the shock of Cassandra leaving, the girls returned to vying for the group date rose, which Sharleen received. Earlier, she expressed some doubt in the process, which Juan Pablo tried to squash by awkwardly making out with her.

It’s time for Clare’s one-on-one time with JP. Their date started walking along a river bank and hashing out the events of the previous week. Clare explained that it made her feel frazzled, and JP asked for the 500th time this episode JP asked what something meant. Juan Pablo told her how he felt, and Clare said she respected that opinion. No one watching this show agrees. They continue their date back at Juan Pablo’s hotel room. I feel like last time they went to his hotel room, they did something JP regretted? Regardless. JP gave Clare some sweatpants, because that is like just soooo her. They danced to a song they heard during their first date, and Clare got a rose. All is well.

At the cocktail party, both Chelsie and Kat understand that the final rose between them. Both are confident that they are the one Juan Pablo will choose. In their alone time, both express their feelings for him, and Kat tells him a painful story from her past. Juan Pablo is heartless this week, choosing Chelsie over Kat. Sharleen is hit hard by this, and is unsure whether or not to continue in the process. She decides to wait it out another week, and looks to figure out her feelings in Miami. Ummmm, I would take a pass on Miami and get out when you can.

Until next week, find me on twitter!

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